The unfair roads to my life.

Lately I have been spending TOO much time on trying to make sense out of my future. Being stressed is obviously a common notion for one that is in college. But I feel like, at some point, I need to think about my future and ask myself if this is what I REALLY want to do. How will we ever know if one asks us this question? I would not know how to respond. It requires a step-by-step instruction booklet. I can't find one that would fit me!
Going to a different subject, I haven't come around here in a while! I have been TOO busy=/ But thankfully, the semester is over in about two weeks:)
One amazing thing that happened to me last week...
Alpha Phi's semi formal was just around the corner and I knew that Mike wasn't going to be able to come down to San Antonio because he has visited me various times throughout the semester and  his money was slowly vanishing. He felt so guilty that he could not come (of course, such a Mike thing to feel bad when it's not his fault at all) but I soon got over it and decided to go date-less. Who cares!
I, not having much money myself, had to resort to wearing one of my high school homecoming dresses. The good part was that it fit me (hooray!!). Friday, the day before semi, came around, and one of my best friends, Bernadette, and I decided to take over the main lounge in our residence hall and cuddle with some blankets and snacks while we watch a movie. Mike had been texting me on and off about how much he missed me and blah blah....I'm not saying that I wasn't caring at the moment; I was just caught up in the movie. So then he calls. Another Mike thing to do. I love hopeless romantics:)
"Hey, so what are you doing?"
"I'm watching a movie with Bernadette and Patrick, what about you?"
"Oh, just got out of the movies with Brian. That movie...it reminded me so much of you....I miss you so much..."
"I miss you too, Mike" (crunch crunch crunch, loving these chocolate-covered raisins!)
"Well you know your Christmas present we've been talking about?"
"Yeah?"
"I decided to give it to you early."
Click.
"Are you serious?? Bernadette, he just hung up on me on the verge of knowing what my Christmas present was!"
Bernadette - "Brissa..."
"What?"
A gentle voice whispers into my ear..."Merry Christmas."
I turn around...only to find Mike above from where I was sitting.
What?! He surprised me?! NO way!!
My instant reaction was to cry. So I did. A lot. He held me so tight and I could hear his heart beating fast. Yup, he had definitely been nervous. Oh gosh, could this be true?? Yes, he surprised me!
Vivian apparently had gone to go pick him up from the airport while Bernadette brought me out to the lounge to watch a movie. Patrick was in on it too. This was just amazing.

Now knowing that I had a date for semi, I was overwhelmed with emotions. First off, I knew I was truly blessed for him spending so much money on coming to see me AND paying for his semi ticket behind my back. It was something I could not explain!
Semi came about, and it was so much fun! My sisters and my boyfriend all had a good time and everyone was in awe of how sweet Mike had been to have done what he did. What can I say, I have been blessed. ♥

Brissa

Who's to say who's NoRmAl? Part 1

I woke up this morning at seven in the morning...What in the world?! But it's ok, I slept super early last night, therefore resulting in the exact nine hours of sleep that I should be getting...great:) But anyways, I am here sitting on my bed with my laptop, listening to MIX 96.1, hoping to win some NOT SO SILENT NIGHT concert tickets. The Fray is going to be playing!!! I HAVE to go to that concert!! It's ok, I still have this whole week to get more chances to try to win...
Ok, back to the REAL subject...
I had an interesting conversation with Mike yesterday, and we've had the same one a few times. It was in regard to his younger sister, Kelsey. Very normal to me, fifteen, blonde beauty, pearly whites for a smile, laughs at everything that is down-right funny, bothers her older brothers, loves attention since she's the youngest, gets her way. You know, typical. I have been inspired to write a series of this young lady, since she is a great motivator to many. She has changed many lives and does it with such ease. Heck, she most likely doesn't even know that she's doing so!
Dangling on a mere string, she follows, down to the core of a deep imagination, and so her journey begins, Athena.
Kelsey loves Disney Channel stars. Which teenage girl doesn't? Especially Hannah Montana. I have her enthusiasm when I watch shows too. I get into it. And I mean, I really get into it. Kelsey uses her imagination with those shows, just as any other person would. Except that she doesn't complain about the real world issues when she is brought back from that imaginative world. She lives it.
She might be calling for help, but no one may notice, for each object that she touches is miraculously transformed into seductive beauty, attracting those even whom are far.
Kelsey lives with her mom and dad, away from her two older brothers. Away is probably a small understatement. She lives in Florida while they live in Texas. Guessing about a three day drive? Mike always mentions how much he misses her and how he doesn't like the fact that she is alone, only has friends at school, and had nobody to 'hang out with' at home. True. But hey, I don't hang out with anybody all day when I'm stuck in my room watching tv. People should feel sorry for me then! Ha!, I kid. Kelsey loves to point at objects and for us to sound them out. When I point things out without saying what the object is, like a child, Mike laughs and tells me to stop being a little girl. Hmmm, is there something wrong with this picture? Kelsey baby, please lend me some of your all-wanted attention:) .
She glides across the meadows, the grass brushing up against her legs, giving the senses something to giggle about. The light shines down on her fair skin, making it shimmer with all-around luminance.
I want to live the life that Kelsey lives. Not for the attention. But so that I am disciplined. Disciplined enough to know that my laughter would be everybody's remedy. To know that I am not confined, rather, free. Free to imagine, to love, to make decisions for myself. Although I would realize that people would have to take care of me, I know that I can grab His hand in comfort.
Darkness falls and slumber falls over her, she glides back to where she knows she belongs, sits down in a life-long seating arrangement with four small wheels below her, grabs on to the rigid handles, and closes her eyes in passivity, as she rests from a full-day of endeavors.
It doesn't seem that Kelsey dislikes the wheelchair. She has to spend 90% of her day in it, so why not try to embrace it instead? Just like she does all other things. I know that she is a happy girl. What we don't know is if she even realizes that she has cerebral palsy. But who needs to know that? We are the unfortunate ones, since we have knowledge of that. Is that not why God condemned Adam and Eve, because they ate from the tree of KNOWLEDGE? We, 'normal' people, are awfully unlucky. We have set a standard for everyone to view as normal, just because the larger population carries this image. Those who cannot talk, cannot walk, are few and spread throughout, that when we actually see a person with disabilities, we are scared. We don't know how to respond to them. We are always unsatisfied in today's world  because we're spoiled. Her? She's living the Jesus life. Just because she can't do other things doesn't mean she has to. Man set that standard, not God.
Well, that was my awfully long response to Mike's, "I wish she could do normal things." It must hurt him so much to think of that. So why do we try to hurt ourselves by thinking things that can hurt us? It's a life-led suicide. You can't fully live your life if you  have set limits on yourselves. That's why Kelsey is lucky. She lives her life the way she is supposed to. We should learn from her.

God Bless,
Brissa